


This Bud of Love

by ticklishivories



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Christmas fic, Florist AU, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-22
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-03-02 20:19:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2824886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ticklishivories/pseuds/ticklishivories
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Moving away from Texas was a terrible decision. Buying the mansion overlooking Santa Barbara beach was a terrible decision. His life was full of terrible decisions- except for Jake. Saying yes was the best decision he ever made.</p>
            </blockquote>





	This Bud of Love

**Author's Note:**

> merry christmas tufty!! i was so excited when i got you for the secret santa, i really hope you like it!
> 
> by the way, i have lived in both california and texas for all of my life! dirk's opinions do not (entirely) reflect my own

The walls weren’t the right color. They ill suited the misty gray sea with their peachy sweetness. The mahogany staircase was all wrong; the ancient creak of wood under his boots and the loose wrought iron railings were a guaranteed liability. That chandelier would have to go. It swung alarmingly from the ceiling, waiting to hurl dust and debris at innocent bystanders like a feisty chimp would hurl feces. The ventilation would have to be looked at, and the septic system would need replacing altogether.

Dirk Strider bought the mansion overlooking Santa Barbara beach for five million dollars. It was theft at the price he shook the retailer down for, but added with repairs, renovations, and taxes, the total to settle down in his supposed dream home was ten million buckaroos. He had yet to find out if it was worth the trouble. Leaving Texas was a wanted change, but thus far he hated everything about California.

A permanent crinkle had settled itself in Dirk’s brow. Though the blood red warmth of the sunset could bring any critic to their knees, the crowds were unpleasant, and no privacy could be found aside from his asbestos filled house. His wallet felt perpetually hollow, and simple things like gas, food, and his favorite cappuccino robbed him dry. 

His brother had recommended that living closer to his only sibling would help. The beach would bring him out of the house, the crowds would magically undo his anxiety, and he’d get a tan. But he rarely left his house, and Dirk never once called his brother. He never bothered to drive the short one hundred-mile distance to San Fernando. All Dirk could think, as he stared from his unsafe balcony at the gray ocean, was that he wanted to go home. 

Through the opulent bow windows in his living room, he could watch the entire town. By studying the roads he learned best when to avoid traffic. Restaurants and shops on the boulevard were out of the question; yet, the glowing lanterns that hung from the awnings in the evening sometimes drew him away from his dusty throne.

Never during the day, though, oh no. Days were spent working on projects at home. But at night, when the crowds were few and spread out like wandering spirits, he found himself roaming the Pacific beach alone, admiring the attractive lights from the shore. It was quiet, and always chilled like a late fall day in Texas. He sighed, and breathed in the clear air.

A vendor was selling flowers to couples. The young man smiled kindly, even when he was told to scram. Dirk admired that. The basket that dangled from his thick arm was full of rich reds, golds, oranges, pinks, and purples.

“Hello, sir. Would you be interested in a rose to bring back for that lovely lady of yours?”

Dirk smiled wryly, as if laughing at a private joke, and shook his head. “Afraid not. I’m sure they’re authentic, pasture raised or whatever, but I’d rather not pay an arm and a leg for something that’s just going to shrivel up in my bathroom.”

The man’s grin did not falter. He held out a ruby red rose to Dirk and twirled it delicately between his fingers. Rather than the flower, Dirk was caught staring at the man’s large eyes, overcast by long, dark lashes.

“Well, don’t you think the most beautiful things in life aren’t meant to last?”

Dirk stared at him for a heartbeat, then shrugged. “I guess. But I’m not willing to pay fifteen bucks for something I can just pick in my front yard.”

The stranger sucked his lip between his teeth and lowered his hand an inch. “You’re absolutely right. Yet, at the same time, what you can obtain so easily could not be valued nearly as much as something you sacrificed for.” He now smiled warmly, and offered the rose again. “Take it, free of charge.”

Their hands brushed against one another as they exchanged the flower. Dirk looked down at it passively, and thought how the red of the petals reminded him of his mother’s lipstick. “Thanks.”

The man looked at his basket- the apples of his cheeks might have been rosy. “Next time, I won’t be so charitable.” His lips quirked up. “Maybe you should come by my shop. They’ll still cost you a limb or so, but if I’m there…” He shrugged. “I’ll see to getting you a discount.”

Dirk raised his eyebrows. The vendor smiled up at him, shyly, but his point got across. They looked at each other for many moments.

“Um, it’s called Jade’s Garden, downtown before residential area. I work Wednesdays through Saturdays.” He lifted his hand awkwardly and twitched it as if to say goodbye. “See you then?” And he walked away. He didn’t stop to offer flowers to anyone else.

Dirk stood in stunned shock, alone by the water. He watched the vendor go distantly, as if watching through a hazed screen. He wondered to himself if that really happened.

He found that it did actually happen, as he wandered through downtown Santa Barbara looking for the place. Jade’s Garden was a humble building sitting stout between a café bakery and a cooking utensils store. It was closed, of course, at ten in the evening on a Wednesday, but Dirk could still read the hours on the door hanging with wind chimes.

Maybe- maybe, he’d come tomorrow. He had a lot of work to finish up, with repairs in the house and such. Lots of plans to organize, people to tell what to do. He didn’t have time for fleeting affairs with attractive young sales associates.

At twelve o’clock the next day the door to Jade’s Garden jingled open. Dirk walked in cautiously, his nose turned high and his eyes searching for something that might jump out at him. He’d taken stock into what he should’ve worn that day more than any other, simply because the weather had foretold rain. Only for that reason and no other. The cashmere sweater underneath his raincoat was dry-cleaned and his slacks were ironed. He’d even bothered to spray on a little cologne- a little being that it reeked like he bathed in scented oils. Thankfully the smell was overwhelmed the moment he stepped into the shop.

The scent of flowers was strong, but gentle. Dirk could breathe just as fine as he could outside. He liked how the shop itself seemed to be an overgrown garden, with vines stretching up the walls and into the ceiling, and from the ceiling too, which hung baskets full of more decorative plants. The floor he walked was made of unpolished granite to give the appearance of outdoor stone. Dirk had to watch his step to avoid tripping on pots and various useless ornaments, like gnomes and frogs and rainbow windmills.

Dirk was bent over a bushel of tiny orange flowers that he had seen all over the place, when he heard someone come in. He stood up, feeling guilty for no reason, and met the eyes of the vendor he saw last night.

The man seemed startled- his mouth was open like he’d forgotten what he’d been thinking. He held a green pail in his hands, and wore a green apron over his green sweater. If Dirk hadn’t heard his very loud footsteps he probably wouldn’t have spotted the guy among all the foliage.

“Hi,” he breathed out. Dirk could see the smile wanting to burst on his face. “Haha. I’m quite surprised that you came!”

“Are you?” Dirk said. He wished he didn’t sound so arrogant. “I had assumed that I was invited. Practically begged.”

The man laughed heartily. It caught Dirk a bit off guard; he could feel the tightness in his chest loosening, the firmness of his jaw easing up.

“Regardless, I am glad that you came by.” He set down the pail and strode his way to Dirk, standing a polite distance from him. Jake followed his line of sight, and gazed at the orange flowers Dirk was admiring.

“These are Golden Poppies,” he went on to say. “They’re actually the state flower. Unfortunately they’re not very popular; I assume it’s because they grow everywhere already.” He looked up at Dirk and smiled. “Do you like them?”

Dirk shrugged. “I suppose.” They had caught his eye because they were familiar, and because they were orange. That was all.

“Hm.” The man’s smile seemed to be a permanent part of his features. Dirk saw, that even when he was not literally smiling, there was still a lift to his lips and a glow to his eyes that gave away what he thought. Dirk found himself staring and was caught before he could look away.

The smile grew. “What’s your name?”

“Dirk.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Dirk. I’m Jake.”

Dirk expected a hand to be stuck in his face for him to shake, but nothing happened. Rather, Jake strolled casually away. At the register he began to organize a pile of seeds into a tiny bag, which he sealed with his mouth. Dirk joined him at the counter and watched him repeat this several times.

“I’d like to buy a bouquet.”

Jake looked up from his work. His big emerald eyes blinked curiously. “Really?” The smirk he displayed was playful. “But I thought you didn’t like flowers.”

“They’re pretty useless, but no, I don’t dislike them.”

Jake’s lip jutted out, but still his eyes smiled. “What’ll it be then?” He walked around the counter in a bit of a hurry; his fussing made warmth bubble in Dirk’s chest. “There’s the classic rose bouquet, which you can get in any color from red, to white, and pink. Oh but of course, the pinks are the most expensive.” Jake held up a bunch in Dirk’s nose. Dirk involuntarily sneezed. “Sorry, haha. Then there are the pansies, tulips are a favorite, oh and then-“

“I’d like to buy the poppies.”

Jake stopped mid-reach for the violet tulips, and glanced back at the humble pot of gold poppies. “Yes, but- those you can’t quite get in a bouquet. They’re rather small, and they wither quickly if they don’t stay in their soil…”

“That’s fine. I’ll take a small pot with them.”

Dirk watched the cogs in Jake’s head turn, and saw him excitedly grab the pot of poppies and scurry off into the back room. Alone, Dirk pondered dimly where he’d put the flowers until Jake came back with a little pot the size of a jar. It was filled with dirt and a few poppies that sprouted at the top. He hopped behind the counter.

“You can plant these in your backyard or in front of a window. They grow like weeds, you hardly need to manage them. But if you keep them in your house- say your bathroom?” Jake winked knowingly and a dark flush grew over Dirk’s cheeks, “-you’ll need to have them watered minimally every other day.” Jake quickly punched numbers into the register and exchanged the receipt once Dirk handed over the cash. Their hands brushed together again.

There was a pause. The smile temporarily fell from Jake’s face, and with jittery movements he shoved the cash into the drawer and slammed it shut. Dirk realized that he was smiling. He couldn’t get rid of it without twitching like he had a nervous disorder, so he hid it underneath his hand.

Jake’s cheeks had taken on a noticeable rosy color. Dirk fought the urge to point it out, and quietly took the flowerpot. He thought that the silence would hold between them and no more words would be exchanged, but just as Dirk’s foot left the doorstep, behind him cried out a hurried “I’ll see you again!” and he had to stop.

Dirk turned with his back holding the door open and the pot tucked under his arm. He grinned at Jake, whose large leafy eyes were wide and expectant.

“Yeah.”

 

* * *

 

 

The flowerpot didn’t quite fit the theme of the house. When he put it in front of the windows, it distracted too much from the pots he’d already placed on the mantle above the fireplace. By the front door, it seemed to vanish within the garish wall of rotten peach color. The kitchen might have been an okay place to put it, but it was under complete deconstruction. Eventually, he came to the realization that the only place to put it was the bathroom. 

It sat there most innocently, when Dirk took showers and performed his usual hygienic routines. The flowers didn’t mean anything at first, but then he began to associate the pot entirely with Jake. It gradually turned into a sinful object, the ghost of a presence that sneaked its way in when most unwanted. It was as if Jake were there with him…watching quietly, when the clothes fell off his body, and when the soap slid down his wet, naked skin. He was ready to throw the thing out the window.

Dirk never had a plant before. Frankly, he never had to take care of anything other than himself, and even then failed to do that much up to standard societal expectations. In a matter of two weeks the poppies had died, along with the red rose Jake had given him when they first met. Dirk was embarrassed, and very ashamed. He felt as if he let Jake down, and lost a very golden opportunity to brag about his newly found green thumb.

He did not visit Jade’s Garden again until the end of the third week. He’d prepared the apology speech in his head several times over, but the moment the door jingled open all of his practice was forgotten. Jake stood at the register alone, arranging a bouquet of white flowers in such a particular way that it piqued Dirk’s interests. He still blended in quite efficiently with his green apron and sweater, but Dirk had no trouble picking him out.

Jake was content in his work. His eyes were half lidded, and his mouth was soft and relaxed. He did not look up right away when the door opened, but let out a happy greeting: “Good afternoon, how can I help-”

As their eyes met, and Jake’s face alighted with recognition and joy, Dirk flooded with mortification. He recalled all those times he’d thought of Jake, alone with the flowerpot in his bathroom. He remembered how he effectively killed it and how he had failed to show his face for three weeks. Dirk fumbled for his practiced words. But before he could speak-

“It’s good to see you Dirk!” Jake piped. Dirk meandered to the counter and leaned against it casually with his fiddling hands stuffed into his pockets. “How’ve you been? I haven’t seen you in these parts for some time.”

Guilt twisted in his stomach as Dirk tried to smile and brush off his answer like the cool fucker he was. But everything he came up with seemed like a sad excuse. He sighed and simply said, “Sorry. I’ve been busy.”

Jake smiled. “Well that’s absolutely all right, buddy-o. It happens.” He was a little distracted as he spoke, and didn’t look directly into Dirk’s eyes. “I say, is that paint on your nose?”

Dirk’s finger automatically touched it. “What? Oh, yeah. I’ve been painting my house recently. It’s taking me forever.”

“You wouldn’t be doing it by yourself would you?” He seemed astonished.

“Yeah, I am. It’s not that bad, really. I didn’t want to pay for a crew.” Dirk took pride in being a cheap fucker, too.

“Hehe.”

Jake continued arranging the flowers. It was quiet between them, and Dirk took to looking around the shop. His eyes fell on the pot of pansies. He grimaced.

“I uh, was thinking of buying more flowers.”

Jake removed a single flower from the arrangement and sniffed it carefully. He didn’t place it back in the bunch, but looked at it as if contemplating why it smelled so sweet. “Oh, were you?”

Dirk lowered his head; he knew that Jake could see right through him, and he couldn’t handle any more embarrassment. “Yes, is that not allowed?”

There was a glint in Jake’s eye that Dirk did not fail to miss. “Of course. That’ll be one hundred dollars.”

He could feel the earth tremble with the force of his jaw hitting the ground. “What the fuck?! For that one fucking stem? You’ve gotta be joking.”

Jake shrugged; he wouldn’t stop sniffing the flower and smirking as if he had the upper card in his poker game. Dirk’s eyebrow twitched. “I’m terribly sorry, but I don’t make the rules. I’m afraid no exceptions are allowed.” He looked up and met Dirk’s eyes. “So, that’ll be a hundred for the flower, two days of manual labor, and maybe a dinner?”

Dirk blinked. “What?”

Jake burst into the brightest grin as if he couldn’t contain it anymore. “I’ll help you paint! It’s no trouble, I used to paint houses back in the day. We’ll get your room done in no time!” Then he rubbed the back of his neck. “Hehe, of course the dinner is optional. A-And I’m not picky about where we’d go- that is, if you'd want to go."

The way Jake’s brown cheeks filled with color when he spoke was something Dirk couldn’t take his eyes off of. He couldn’t stop staring at the firm way he pressed his lips together, how he ruffed up his black hair, and how he rocked anxiously upon his feet.

Dirk bent down and rested his elbows on the counter. The corner of his lips lifted. Jake gazed warmly back at him through the lenses of his glasses.

“Yeah, sure.”

They exchanged phone numbers and full names. Jake said he was happy he came by again, and this time Dirk replied that he’d be back soon. He left with that polite goodbye, and struck down his overwhelming urge to pull Jake close and kiss him.

The water this time of year was freezing. Dirk had assumed it was seasonal; generally the weather stayed a constant, dreamy cool spray of wind and sun. The ocean itself however was always cold. In the summer Dirk had tried going, but his Texan blood couldn’t handle the chilly breeze on his feet after dipping in only ankle deep. The fall was just the same.

Jake was outraged to find out Dirk hadn’t gone swimming yet. He confessed that he’d been too busy, and that to him, going out there by himself would look strange. Nonsense, Jake had told him. Dirk also said that he hadn’t lived in California long enough to try it. He was too busy.

“How long have you been here?” Jake asked over his basket of french fries. They sat outside a Rocket’s diner overlooking the ocean. Another gorgeous day- the wind smelled of salt, and the seagulls were staying obediently away from the cliff side. Dirk sat across from him with a half finished cheeseburger and mountain dew. He pulled his gaze away from the ocean to look back at Jake. His heart faltered.

“Uh, I don’t know.” He searched his memories. Since moving to California, it’s felt like he’s lived in a time capsule. The weather was always the same, his routine the same, and his house was always shitty and unfinished. “I moved in sometime in June from Houston.”

“Wow, you’re Texan?”

Dirk had learned that Jake was extremely easy to impress. It was hard refraining from exaggerating things and watching him swallow it up like a child believing in Santa Claus. “Yeah. Just to clarify, every Texan ever has a ten gallon hat, and carries a gun on their enormous gold belt buckle.” Dirk exaggerated his (nonexistent) accent. Jake’s eyes lit up and his shoulders jumped as he laughed. “Also we all wear cowboy boots with spurs.”

“Hehe, I knew it!” He stuffed more fries into his mouth. Dirk smiled and grabbed a fry too. “Is there anything you miss about your home?”

“What, Texas?” Dirk scoffed. “Yeah, it’s way better over there.” Jake raised an eyebrow. Dirk opened his mouth to defend himself, but oddly enough, he couldn’t find any reasons why he liked Texas. He thought of the food, the place he lived, the people… Nothing. Dirk rubbed his nose and took another bite of his burger. Full of food, his words were hardly able to discern. “Well, I guess there wasn’t any reason to like it.” Grease dripped onto his fingers. “It was only a place to escape.”

“Escape what?” Jake had moved closer to better hear Dirk. There was a comfortable distance between them, but Dirk still wished they were closer.

“I dunno, my family I guess.” Dirk shrugged. “Not my kind of people. My brother wanted me to be closer to them but I haven’t bothered to call or visit.” He frowned. “I don’t really want to.”

In the middle of his talk, Jake had reached over to place his hand over Dirk’s on the table. Dirk looked up, and Jake was smiling softly at him. He returned the smile.

For a first date, Dirk thought it had gone well; so well, that he assumed his extraordinary fortune was all spent on that one date, and everything after that event would go completely downhill. But no such thing happened. Dirk asked Jake on another date, and another, and each time Jake enthusiastically agreed. Their outings mainly consisted of walks on the harbor, along the beach, and through the mountain trails. They always ended with good food (always paid for by Dirk, he absolutely insisted to Jake’s constant digress) while holding hands discreetly under the table. He’d drop Jake off at his flower shop and kiss his cheek goodbye. Feeling happier than he had in years, Dirk would eagerly leave his house to take Jake out with him. It felt like someone else’s life, someone else’s happiness.

 

The white flower sat in a skinny vase by itself at the front door. It was the first thing Jake saw when he entered Dirk’s house. It was ugly and withered, but Dirk didn’t have the heart to throw it away.

“It’s a gardenia,” Jake went on to say after he was done freaking out about the mansion Dirk lived in (which was still a wrecked disaster). He was dressed for work, with a ratty t-shirt and jeans with holes in them. When he went to touch the flower it crumbled in his hands. He flinched. “Oh, um, sorry.”

“That’s okay. I’ll just buy another for a hundred dollars.”

Jake nudged him playfully and set what was left of the dead flower back in the vase. “So, you ready to get going?”

All furniture and floors were draped with protective covers. They started with the guest rooms, and over a span of a month, they painted away every ugly peach and blue color with whites and warm yellows and oranges. Dirk paid him in meals, only because Jake refused any other form of payment.

Dirk could confidently say that he liked his house now. There was still work to be done, and things to fix, but he was happy. He thought of how well Jake suited the house too, how it suited him to have his skin splotched with paint and his cheeks flushed from hard work. How good he looked in Dirk’s room, lying on the mattress to take a break, how gentle his hands were, strong and dark and too good to be true.

 

They’d been dating for more than two months. Winter was in full throttle, or so Jake said. But in mid December the weather was good enough to wear shorts or a sweater and be comfortable. Dirk was in the kitchen with Jake, putting groceries into the fridge as Jake rinsed a bowl of grapes in the sink. The windows above the sink were open, as were all the windows in the house, to let the paint dry. The sun was out and the ocean could be seen over the mountain. Dirk caught Jake staring at it; the water was running over his hands.

“I’m pretty sure they’re clean now,” Dirk added suddenly. Jake jumped a bit, but grinned and adjusted the grapes to let the water run through. Dirk crowded him by the counter and pressed his nose into Jake’s neck. It smelled strongly of flowers, and something else that made the lower half of his stomach fill with warmth.

“Are they? I hadn’t noticed.”

“Clearly.”

Dirk’s arms came around his waist, as his lips slowly kissed the skin that was beginning to redden. Jake carefully set down the bowl of grapes and shut off the water. He braced his hands on the counter.

“The kitchen looks nice, doesn’t it?”

Dirk ignored him.

“The, erm, flowers, they look lovely with the wall colors.”

There were several pots and vases of flowers that decorated the kitchen and the rest of the house. Jake brought a new batch every time he came over to help paint. Dirk couldn’t say no; besides, they were starting to grow on him.

The taste of Jake’s skin on his tongue was growing on him too. His teeth only grazed, but Jake would shiver and crane his head away.

“I-I want you to meet my family,” Jake said in a whisper. Dirk didn’t stop or slow down; his hands started to rub over Jake’s hips. “Of course I mean…my friends. You already know that my grandmother isn’t with us anymore, and my parents are who knows where. I would like you to visit my friends for Christmas.”

“Mhm,” Dirk breathed. His groping hands were a deliberate distraction; Jake tried his best to speak over them, but his words would die in his throat. “Who are your friends?”

“Jane and-” Dirk’s hand cupped him in his trousers. Jake bent closer to the sink, and Dirk’s mouth followed him. “-Roxy.”

He did not stop talking. Little words would slip out whenever he tried to hide his embarrassment, or when he felt the quiet between them hold for too long. Even as Dirk turned his head for a searing kiss, with each moment they took to breathe Jake would add in a word that made no reason or sense.

“I also…mh, want to meet your family.” His pants were around his ankles. Dirk’s hand slowly pumped Jake between his legs while his lips kissed his cheek.

“There’s not much to meet,” he hummed. “You could meet my brother, though. He’s cool. Tolerable. Wears too much red, but I think you’d like him.”

Jake’s legs buckled. Dirk held him firmly by the waist while he groaned and shook. Not many more words were exchanged; they kissed roughly, and as Dirk helped him finish Jake ground his behind into Dirk’s hips.

Dirk had successfully evaded the conversation. Soon after Jake recovered, Dirk turned his whole frame around for another long, distracting kiss, and Jake seemed to understand. They held their gazes, until Jake sunk to his knees and opened the button of Dirk’s pants. His mouth was perfect; Dirk’s bony fingers dug into Jake’s hair, and Dirk said (like always), “You’re too good at this,” and Jake smiled and sucked harder.

It was easy to tell that Jake would not give up about his family. Dirk kissed him afterwards without hesitance (“You missed a spot.” “Oh shut it you grotesque moron”) and asked him out to another dinner. Though Jake agreed, it was with some insistence; Dirk could see that Jake was a little irritated, but was not voicing it because he didn’t want to push or upset Dirk. It was considerate, but as if Jake had screamed it at him, Dirk’s mind echoed with that tiny hint of upset.

He supposed he would give his parents a call. If only for Jake.

 

* * *

 

 

Oddly enough, it hadn’t registered to Dirk that December was the month that contained Christmas. It wasn’t his fault; he hadn’t celebrated any holiday in years, and he didn’t planned on changing that when moving from Texas. He just didn’t see the point in putting up a tree for the entertainment of a lonely bachelor.

Green, red, and blue lights replaced the pretty lanterns that hung out on the awnings by the beach. Music was caroled and people dressed as if they lived in Minnesota rather than Southern California. The weather wasn’t much different in Dirk’s opinion; the ocean was still freezing, and the air kept at a pleasant chill. He never would have noticed it was winter, had he not started dating Jake 

He insisted on decorating every square inch of Dirk’s mansion. After the renovations were complete (mostly), he had the stair railings woven with garland, every empty corner filled with poinsettias, and a real tree (“I’ve never had a real one before!”) standing tall in the living room. Jake was so upset they didn’t have enough ornaments for it that Dirk went with him to Walmart to buy more. Roxy and Jane came to visit and help, too. They were lovely girls, Dirk was relieved to find. Though Roxy was the definition of a Valley girl and Jane reminded Dirk somewhat of a fragile old lady, their presence did not hinder his time with Jake. To his great astonishment, he enjoyed being around them. For the first time in years, Dirk could claim that he had friends.

 

Christmas Eve. A fire was lit in the fireplace- another first. Santa Barbara felt truly cold for a change, and Roxy, Jane, Dirk, and Jake all wrapped themselves in bundles of sweaters and blankets by the fire. They sat on the floor. Dirk felt like a child, but he didn’t care. He was happy.

“I can’t believe you haven’t, like, used this place for shit tons of parties, Dirk.” Roxy was chugging all of Dirk’s eggnog. He’d have to put restrictions on her drinking soon. “You’ve got this really nice Gatsby thing going, like, you even got this whole lonely guy standing-and-staring-out-the-window theme, not to mention the scandalous love interest-”

“Hey Jake, can I talk to you?” he whispered into Jake’s ear. With a hand Dirk helped Jake up and led him into the den beside the kitchen. Jane noticed and carefully shifted Roxy’s attention away from them.

“I mean, omg, imagine what I could do to the lights in this place! So much space to just go all out, rave it up, I’d totally volunteer to be the tech I mean I would only charge you like five percent less since you’re my friend and all…”

Roxy’s voice could be heard from the lowly lit room Jake and Dirk stood in. Cinnamon scented candles casted glowing shadows across their faces. It was hushed, and private.

“I called my parents,” Dirk said quite out of nowhere. Jake stood processing for a moment, then broke into a wide grin, and threw his arms around Dirk’s neck.

“Oh, darling, that’s so wonderful. I’m so proud of you.” It was no secret between them how cold the relationship between Dirk and his parents were.

Dirk enjoyed the hug. Jake was warm, and fit so well in his arms he considered the idea of them being carved out specifically for each other. He breathed in that flowery scent, and sighed.

“Dirk?”

Dirk was very quiet.

“Love, won’t you-” Jake leaned away to look at him. “Oh, dear…”

Jake pulled Dirk close again. He stayed quiet, and only pet the back of Dirk’s hair. Dirk appreciated that Jake understood. It was a testament to their relationship that Jake did not press for details.

They stayed wrapped around one another until calm settled back into Dirk’s heart. When they returned, hand in hand, Roxy and Jane teased them about getting distracted under the mistletoe. It unknotted the anxiousness in Dirk’s stomach, and he smiled gratefully.

Dirk had wished his parents could have come. Jake had expressed Dirk’s anger for him with several colorful curse words that made Jane’s ears turn red. It was okay, though. Dave showed up in a Santa suit with a literal sack full of useless toys and knick-knacks. He also gave a big fuck you to their parents, expressed by the gay, asexual, and pansexual pride t-shirts he gifted to them. Enough dinner was prepared for a small army, thanks to Jake and Jane. It was bigger and brighter than any Christmas Dirk ever had, and at times he could not contain his nerves.

Dirk stood in his kitchen, filled with leftover food and used plates, just taking a break. Laughter flooded in from the dining room. He smiled, and took another breath to clear his head.

“Dirk? Are you in here?”

“Yeah.”

Dirk turned to see Jake bring in a cup of hot chocolate. He took it gratefully, chugged the scorching sweet, and gave it back. “Good shit.”

“Yes,” Jake said cheerfully. They stood side by side, completely at ease. He waited until Dirk spoke.

“Sorry I’m not out there, with everyone else.” Dirk took the mug back and placed it by the overflowing sink. “I’m not upset or anything. I’m just, I don’t know.”

“I understand.”

Jake’s shoulder leaned against the other’s. Dirk rested his head on Jake’s.

They closed their eyes.

“It’s perfectly all right to be scared,” Jake murmured. He took Dirk’s hand, and squeezed it gingerly. “You’re not used to so many people surrounding you.”

“Yeah.”

“But…don’t worry. You’ll have many more chances to get used to crowds. Many more dinners, many more Christmases, together with Dave, Roxy, Jane, and…”

“You?”

Jake grinned, and brought Dirk’s freckled hand to his lips. “Yes, me too.” 

“Fuck, might as well marry you now.”

He laughed, and Dirk joined in too. But, while Jake was distracted, Dirk pulled open a drawer behind him. He extracted a single red rose. When Jake saw it, his laughter ebbed away.

Dirk held it out to him in the same way Jake had months ago. “I know it’s your profession to know what the meanings of flowers are. I wanted to get around 108 of them, but thought how stupidly expensive that would be. So maybe…over time, I could get you a rose everyday or something, and build up to 108, and maybe in that time you’ll want to…”

Jake threw his arms around Dirk and kissed him. Dirk was startled, but returned the kiss eagerly- clumsily. They could feel the happiness bubble and pop inside them like cider, like wine after a hot meal, and it was so good that Dirk’s nerves were forgotten.

As he was led back to the party, Jake’s kiss lingered, and so did his words. The warmth of their entwined hands was his strength. Dirk had a lovely Christmas: the first of many, together with Jake.

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> merry christmas to all my friends! and thanks to nat for helping me figure out the ending eue 
> 
> also! about astriferous eyes; i haven't given it up, i'm just a horribly slow writer. it's actually coming along quite nicely! but for the past month or so i've been working on this instead and it was really important for me to finish it up on time. i really apologize, y'all don't deserve to wait this long ;; thanks for reading!


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